After trying everything I knew to get me out of my slump, out of my depression, and out of that dark place, I decided to trust God. (I know I am a Christian and I am supposed to trust God daily, but this was new territory, a new season, a new place of uneasiness and trusting God was easier said than done.) Once I completely gave up and realized it was out of my control, God said good. Will you let me take over now?

God got me alone so that he could get me together. I offered all of my broken pieces to God. My loneliness, my depression, my hurt, my pain, my finances, my anger, my unforgiveness, and my bitterness. I gave him all of those broken pieces and in that brokeness, God made me whole. Not a man, not a job, not a child, not a car, not a house. God made me whole. God was enough. God was everything and still is everything I need.

God got me alone so that he could prune me and get me to solely rely on him. He put me by myself so that he could show me the ways I needed to change and deal with the matters of my heart. God needed an inward change to make an outward change. God needed to break me down completely so that I could learn to seek him and glorify him. So that I could put him above any and everyone.

I thought he was the head of my life before, but he broke me down over and over again. God needed to make me whole before I could be with anyone. I’m not in need of a better half because I am made whole in Christ. God is the only thing that makes me whole.

God takes us to a place that is uncomfortable. A place that makes you die to yourself daily so that you can get to know and grow in God. So that you can experience him on a deeper level. So that you can have a personal, real relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He laid down his life for you so the least you can do is lay down your life, your ambitions, your goals, and desires for his. His plans are way better. God comes to completely, radically change your life for his sake.

As I write this, the road to damascus comes to mind. Acts 9: 1-31 Saul of Taursus was on a mission to kill Christians and on the road to damascus, God radically changed his life. 3 days later after much praying and fasting, he is sharing the very news he was on a mission to silence.

So whether I get married again, or whether I am a divorced mom of 2 for the rest of my life, I am content. Because in God, I am made whole. He will never leave nor forsake me and he inherently works things out for the good of those that love him and are called according to his purpose.