If God hates Divorce, Then Why Did I Get One? Part I

The day was April 22nd and that day felt all too familiar. The arguments were frequent and the resolutions were few. Packing an overnight bag to stay at his cousin’s house for a ride to work turned into an excursion he would never return from. Hearing the words, “I’m not happy” burned me like fire-walking on hot coals. Sure our marriage wasn’t the perfect instagram photo, and the photo we did share wouldn’t be hashtagged with #relationshipgoals; but I loved him.

Love wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to cure my little white lies I would tell him when I spent too much money while out with my friends. It wasn’t enough to cure my pride that came along with carrying him and our two children on my one income. It wasn’t enough to cure my resentment for his past indiscretions in our relationship. It wasn’t enough to cure his unhappiness and stop him from abandoning his family and our 6 year marriage. Love just wasn’t enough.

Because it’s easier to walk out on 8 years of time invested than it is to work through it. It’s easier to quit than it is to sacrifice, work hard, and change for the person you love. Love and marriage is hard work. It’s hard seeing the worst of someone and choosing to love them despite it. It’s much easier to decide that you would rather be alone than to work hard at maintaining a relationship the rest of your life. Marriage is supposed to be for life. God intends it to be for life. So why did I get a divorce?

This wasn’t the first time he called it quits, but I was determined to make it the last. I couldn’t allow the kids and I to get hurt again. So I hardened my heart towards anyone who thought otherwise. Including God. I knew that God would want me to be selfless and forgiving but I couldn’t this time. I just couldn’t look past the man who abandoned us when we needed him. We needed him and he just walked out.

Over the past few months, things between him and I weren’t getting better. We stayed cordial for the kids and barely spoke in passing. I was hurting from the loss and his pride prevented him from feeling anything. Coming to this point in our marriage didn’t just suddenly happen. We never took the time to address the situations as they occurred, fight fair, pray with and for each other, make time for one another, and support one another. It ended because of years of neglect, hardened hearts and selfishness.

So instead of turning to God, I turned away from him. I did everything I could to rid myself of my feelings. I threw myself into my work, my relationship with my kids, and my side businesses. I did everything but reach out to God to be my comfort and my saving grace in that dark time. I knew that he would want me to salvage my marriage, but I was too hurt to even try. I became numb to God’s conviction and correction because of my hardened heart.

Praying to God to change my husband with my quiet and gentle spirit. Does that mean I wasn’t gentle enough? Does that mean I didn’t pray enough? Does that mean I didn’t fast enough? I know how everybody talks about how God has answered their prayers, saying that God answers prayers with “yes and amen”. But what about when God says no? What about when God doesn’t change your husband or cure your mom? What about his will for your life? Do you feel God truly knows best? What about when he says no my child, I have something better in mind. Will you still trust him? Will you still follow him?

When God told me no, my world shattered and my heart fell in my chest. So I pushed him away. I pushed him away so I could file for divorce. I knew that this season of marriage was ending and I knew more difficult things were to come. Single parenting after a divorce, one income, budgeting, and money management.

40 thoughts on “If God hates Divorce, Then Why Did I Get One? Part I

  1. Thank you for your much needed transparency and realness that the church and Christians at large need in order for true deliverance..growth and maturity in the Jesus

  2. Awesome I have experienced it all so I get it the only is I turned to God because I just new I was getting a divorce. But it was for my on selfish reasonsit I felt like it was one the hardest thing I have had to grow from God use the hardest time in my marriage to build my relationship with him. He truly allowed me to see me and get me together. I’m so happy u wrote this I hope your writing a book lol

  3. I just wanna say that this is an confirmation from God on what I need to do. I have been married to my husband for going on 7 years. We have beautiful children together, but over the years our relationship has been in a spiral. For one I married unequally yoked, but wanted marriage so bad because I didn’t want to be a single Mom. I have been cheated on, verbally abused, as far as I can remember. This is affecting my relationship with myself, my children, and being able to move forward in ministry because I know I have been called to fulfill his purpose. I have been toiling back and forth with the decision as to whether get a divorce or Maybe God can change him. All for fear of being alone and losing my marriage.Thoughts of nobody is going to want you with those number of children, and since being without a income he is the only income in the home. I just want you to know that you are brave and I know it’s going to be alright and I know that God doesn’t want us tp stay in marriages that are hindering our walk with him. I pray for your strength and Thank you for your story…Keep praying for me as I pray for you

  4. You just summed up everything I’ve been going through this last year. I was embarrassed and devastated. I have struggled with feelings of guilt and failure because I couldn’t save my marriage. Someone recently pointed out to me that it takes both parties to want to make it work and that I had been fighting for years by myself. I’m working on healing and learning to love me and growing closer to my son. Thank you for sharing.

  5. My love, do you realize just how much strength it takes to be completely honest and broken? Just know that this is the beginning of healing and I’m proud of you! Keep going!!!

  6. Thank you for thе gooԁ writeup. It actually used to be a leisure ɑcсount it.
    Glance advanced to more delivered agrеeable fгom you!

    ᗷy tҺe way, how can we be in contact?

  7. Itѕ such as you learn my mind! You appear to underѕtand so much approximatelү
    this, like you wrote the e book in it or somethіng.

    I think that yⲟu just could do with a few percent to drivе thе message house a bit, however instᥱad of that, that is great blog.

    An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.

  8. At this tіme it appears like WordPress is tɦe preferred blogging platform out
    there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what yoᥙ’re using on your blog?

  9. Magnificent items from you, mɑn. I’ve Ьe aware your stuff previous to and you
    are ϳust too excellent. I гeɑllу like what you have obtaіned here, certainly like
    what you’re sɑying and the best way in which you say it.
    You’re making it entertaining and you still care for to кeep
    it sensible. I ϲan’t wait to read far more from you.
    That is aϲtually a tremendous website.

  10. I’m impressed, Ӏ muѕt saʏ. Seldom Ԁo I encounter a blog that’s equally educative ɑnd entertaining, аnd
    ⅼet me tell you, ʏou’ve hit the nail on the head.
    The issue іs an issue that tоo few folks are speaking intelligently ɑbout.
    I aam vеry happy I foᥙnd this in my search foг something relating tо this.

  11. Helⅼo! I’νe been reading your blog for a long time noᴡ
    and finally got the courage to go aɦead and give you a shout out from Kingwoоd Tx!
    Just ѡantеd to say keep up the good work!

  12. Usefսl information. Lucky me I discovered your website by accident, and I’m stunned
    ᴡhy this аccident didn’t toօk place іn advancᥱ!
    I bookmarked it.

  13. プロミスの即日借り入れは、たいへん使いやすいサービスです。昔より、クレジット会社を賢く活用するユーザーが増加しています。少額だけ借りるだけなら、金利も少しですむのが人気のポイントです。

  14. Ιt is tɦe best time to make a few plans for the longer teгm and іt’s time to be happy.
    ӏ have ⅼеarn this post and if I may jսst I wish to recommend you few fascinating issues or suggestions.

    Maybe you could write next articles regarding this artiϲle.

    I want to read even more things about it!

  15. TҺanks for anotheг informative blog. Where ᥱlse may just I ǥet that kind of
    info ѡritten in such an ideal way? I have a project that I am simply noԝ
    operating on, and I’ve been at the look out for sᥙch
    information.

  16. Hello everybody, hеre evеry one iѕ sharing these kinds of familiarity, thus it’s good to read this weblog,
    and I used to pаy a գuick visit this website all the tіme.

  17. With ɦavin ѕo mucһ content do you ever гun into any proЬⅼems of plagorism or copyright
    infringement? My blog has a lot of exclusive content I’ve eitɦer written myѕelf or outsourced but it looқs like a
    lot of it is popping іt up all over the web without my
    agreement. Do you know any methods to hеlp stoр content from ƅeing
    ripped off? I’ⅾ definitely appreciate it.

  18. Great blog! Do you have any recommendatіons for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everytҺing.
    Wouⅼd you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a
    paid option? There аre so many choices out therе that I’m totally overwhelmed ..
    Any recommendations? Many thankѕ!

  19. Wow, wonderful weblog format! How lengthy have you been running a blog for?
    you made blogging look easy. The whole look of
    your site is excellent, let alone the content!

  20. Lіnk exchange is nothing else but it is only placing the other person’s bⅼog link on your
    page at suitable place and other person will also do same in favor
    of you.

  21. Get instalikes– Buy Instagram Likes

    At SocialShop we believe all pieces of the Instagram instalikes
    process should work together. Once a profile’s Instagram
    followers have been increased, it is important to simulate proper levels of activity.
    We complete our process by increasing your Instagram profile’s photo likes.
    Instagram pages with plenty of dynamic user likes
    build credibility in a way no other service can. Building a brand is
    time-consuming and challenging if you don’t have the right tools.
    Business owners often give up and ignore their social media
    channels. SocialShop will build your following and then build a strategic
    plan with you to buy Instagram likes. The entire process is fluid and
    customized. We target niche-specific Instagram likes that fit fashion editors to sportscasters.
    Regardless of company size, SocialShop will help our valued
    clients grow their audiences as they buy Instagram likes and socially engage their followers.

    Why Would I Buy Instagram Likes?

    Instalikes is created when popularity is increased through the
    actions of other users. This concept was once considered word of mouth when one friend of neighbor
    would tell another friend or neighbor to purchase a product or use a service.
    In today’s social media culture, Instagram likes are the equivalent of work of mouth.

    An Instagram profile must be active or risk being ignored completely by Instagram users and lose all social
    proof. Users judge the quality of a photo
    post by the amount of social proof attached to it, otherwise known as likes.

    If you are a business owner or entrepreneur you would no doubt love
    to build an Instagram following through photographic skill or extensive networking
    skills but the reality is that you simply do not have the time.
    SocialShop will attach immediate likes to your new or
    existing posts and the results will speak for themselves:

    Your Instagram profile’s credibility will soar
    Prospective Instagram followers will see your popularity and follow you
    Organic traffic will naturally increase across your Instagram profile
    Potential customers and followers of your brand view your
    Instagram profile as a portal into a day in your company’s life.
    But, gaining followers is not as easy as putting together
    a profile and snapping mobile photos. Yes, great content is a must, but sometimes
    your profile needs a little nudge. Through SocialShop’s proven Instagram followers + Instagram
    likes method, your brand will gain the most simply and cost-effective boost on the market today.
    Our delivery is fast and reliable. Encourage visitors to convert
    to customers with one of our hot Instagram like packages.

    We offer great package benefits:

    Rock-bottom pricing
    No expensive subscription fees
    Zero passwords required
    24/7 email support
    Super fast delivery
    The more people that like your photos and videos
    will catch the attention of others. While SocialShop may give
    your Instagram profile the push it needs to get started, social media interaction with your posts will organically increase.
    The overall effect will make your Instagram social proof skyrocket.
    As a business owner or entrepreneur, you cannot risk watching the power of Instagram from the sidelines.

    Let SocialShop get your brand the recognition it deserves.
    Discover the Fast Lane to Online Fame!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *